Disclaimer – Abuse can come in many forms and can be perpetrated by either sex. This post focuses on the act of a man hitting a woman.
In some cultures, men hitting women is considered quite acceptable.
Women are seen as a “less than” and often where a man has hit a woman, she is urged to look into her own actions which may have caused the man to behave in this way.
A common example is where a woman is “nagging” a man, and out of sheer frustration or anger, he slaps her across the face to shut her up and send a message. Rather than dealing with his emotions, or talking with her, his approach is to abuse her.
So the question isn’t, “why men hit women”.
The question is, why is it okay?
Domestic violence is prevalent in society. Moreso in some than others.
Research also shows that men who hit women, are more likely to hit their children.
Children of abusive fathers grow up with deep seeded trauma which takes years to show up in obvious ways and work through. If ever.
Hitting women is NEVER okay.
However, in cultures where hitting a woman is acceptable, there is also great stigma around airing “dirty laundry”.
Speaking up, which is something that could be quite empowering for a woman, is shamed. She is silenced rather than urged to talk about it.
When things are not talked about, they can fester causing feelings of resentment and shame.
When a man hits a woman, he expresses blatant disrespect towards her.
This can cause fear, feelings of low self-worth, and a lack of love and care in the relationship for the woman.
When this is further unaddressed, it can take the form of poor mental health, depression, and anxiety.
Furthermore, the relationship may never flourish if these events are not addressed.
The worse thing you can say to a woman who has been hit be a man is, “well, you must have done something to cause it or deserve it”.
No, no one deserves to be hit.
Sometimes family members and friends might try to show the woman the positive characteristics of the man. This is not helpful. It devalues and invalidates the woman’s experience and concerns.